Thursday, October 16, 2008

This is hard for me to write, just like it is hard to say out loud. I've been trying to write this for a while but each time it got harder. So this time I'll do it with out anestethic and attempting to be as clear as possible. I ve been hidding. I guess thats a way of saying it. I 've been standing behind a tree (go to Roswell 103 (kidding.....not really)) That is such a short moment in the show, so little and yet, it stucked with me for all this time.
I dont really know how to explain it, its as if by trying so hard not to be like other people I lost who I was, I kept it inside and did my best not to show it and by doing so I hurt. Soooo bad...
Because of this and that and all... I decided, whats the point? there are pieces of me that are still to be seen and some others, just like my dear Piscine's tiger, are gone until further notice.
I guess this is good, to knwo it before im 80..i guess..its just.. whats the point of just, be, always waiting ? i dont even know how to say this!! but what i mean is, there is someone inside me, i love her and have for a really long time and she's funny and lovaable and has a bad temper sometimes but tries her best.. she really does. She's always thought she has a strange not so funny face and for some reason, finds it impossible to not imitate people when they stare. She loves singing but never does so out loud for fear of making a mistake or being out of pitch. There are tons of this little details i dont even have a clue as in where to start.
any way...