'Cause family matters the most...

She wonders. She remembers and sees that it all had an excuse. At the top of the last page she feels tears coming out. This is real. This is pain. This could happen.
And she hates herself. She doesn’t know why. The image is so clear, she has seen the future and this is it. It hurts. The 5-minutes- ago heated chicken in getting cold and by now, forgotten. Peas are green on white. She cries.
The music coming out of the speakers has lost its place, her ears are numb, she gets up, and with a quick step goes to the stairs. She runs up, her mind still trembling, maybe it’s because she just saw it, but the sharp image of a blade comes to mind. Not a cutter, a letter opener. White. Silver. She keeps her pain in a chain.
The room is dark, with out looking she hits the lights. Walks to the bathroom, puts her hand on the wall and falls. She’s 15 again. She’s 5 again. She can’t look at the mirror, that would only make it worst. Close your eyes and forget the world.
This isn’t a book, she thinks, this is real, focus on real. It will go away. She comes back. Stands up and looks at herself. Eyes: red, face: red. Take a breath, hold your lungs until you run out of tiny pieces to break. It hurts.
Rituals…
It was real. She remembers now; that letter, what it meant, how she felt. And she laughed. She asked but she just laughed. She asks herself with the primal instinct that comes with beta ones
- Would she really leave me?-
It was so real. She’s seen the future and now the future shines.
In that faithful day. One day. It won’t be like that. Four dress in white, a ribbon for each, four small bags. Each one helping the other, there is always something to run from. Family matters the most. Something to run to.

She comes down, face washed, flashing smile. Everything is normal. Sits down and writes. She wonders…