Lo acepto aquí, en quedito, escribiendo tu nombre en un pedacito de papel, mientras lo hago cuadritos y lo pongo debajo del colchón que ya no moveré; moría de ganas.
Así que lo dejo aquí, donde no puedes verlo, donde nunca te enterarás, donde mis tonterías se acompañan a ellas mismas y juntas, hacen un manual de cómo reír cuando se llora y el tutorial para escribir palabras mal; quería que aparecieras.
Lo digo sólo para sacármelo de adentro, para que mañana en el metro no lo grite, para no rayar las paredes de lo baños públicos ni contárselo al cervezabir de la esquina; podría haberte querido.
Si no te hubieras ido.

This is how we lie

Mi letra izquierda.

I love it

ANNI B SWEET- TAKE ON ME

And to be suddenly hit by the memmory of being sitted in your car while singing When you were young at the top of your lungs and driving around the city with out direction and with the only aim of delaying going back home for another hour.
And how good it felt and feels, even now, to remember it.
Oh yes, this is me getting idealistic. 

Something new, something borrowed, something blue.

Something new, something borrowed, something blue.
Originally uploaded by Olga Riebeling A

Trying something new

I have decided, this year will be of new things. Maybe.
So, taking my new editing of children literature class as an excuse to making pretty things, I try this.
I've never given watercolor a 2nd thought because if I could not make it as a painter with oil paint (or colors, or ink, or pastels) doing it with water seems like a crazy idea, but I'm not to disgusted with the first result. We'll see.

Original illustration by Paul Willoughby in Julian Barne's novel, Talk it over.

Cortometraje SIGNS Patrick Hughes Parte I de II

Signs, Patrick Hughes. Parte II de II

I wrote this for you.

I had never been so alone before. I have never been on my own before. And yet, I have felt alone before; I have felt that inside-a-crowd-but-alone feeling. I have been sitting next to my friends and felt alone.
And I get it, I'm the kind of person that feels alone. I'm the kind of person that gets depressed.
The funy thing is, I haven't felt so alone. And I haven't felt  down as I thought I would feel. Maybe it's a matter of days but I'm not thinking that way.
I'm just realizing what a mess I can be! when I dont have to pick up everything because there is someone else. How I always forget where I put something,  or why I walked to the kitchen or the room. I mean, I usually have a hard time concentrating but I have taken it to the next level. I find myself distracted over the simplest things; trying to make the oven work, placing pictures on the wall, looking at light that comes from outside, making mental lists of what is in the fridge and struggling to remember instead of going to the fridge and looking in.
What I want to say is, I thought it'd be worse. I thought that I would be worse. So far, the one thing I miss is having someone to talk to about stupid things. On the bright side, Im coming face to face with the queen of procrastination that lives inside me. Maybe not so bright.

The other thing I wanted to write was about a blog I found. It's called, I wrote this for you. It is a project a girl started because she was a bit down so she wrote to You, a fictional characther that is not fictional at all for it fits everyone. You is everyone and no one at the same time. I had read some entries before but hadn't gone into the blog completly. In there are 3 years of daily post about You; why You should feel better, why You should be yourself, why she missed You so much.
She decided to stop the blog in december and apparently got a lot of messages from a lot of people telling her to please keep going. On the first page or second, is the letter she wrote as in why she wants to quit along with the explanation for the blog, the idea... If you listen to me and go there, jump to the entries that started it in 2007. Most are no longer than 3 lines.
I foud this:
 "Buildings crumble. People die. Friends move away. But your memory of them will always stand. And they will be as real there, inside you, as they were when they were standing next to you.Your memories are real. They are the dreams of the past. And they will live with you always."
Which made me think of writing this.
I also found this :
"No one would ever think such mean thoughts about you. No one would ever say something so hurtful. No one would ever hit you so hard

Except yourself.

You are always the meanest person you know. And only you can stop you."
It has no comments and I wonder why. For me it is so powerful and true.
There are many, many, too many comments in this blog; most of them say things like "thanks for writing to me" or "don't stop writing, I foud it now, Im here". It is so moving because every post is about You.
This also makes me think that there is a lot of people out there feeling bad about themselves. I know it isn't easy, that it happens, that it is one of those things. But it is terrible anyway. How come if we only get to live once, we go and fill ourselves with horrible thoughts and feelings of distress and sadness?
And how sometimes, you can't do much for other people and other people can not do much for you...but how amazing it is when someone comes over and says, I wrote this for you.