A Lack of Color

If a lack of color is the feeling you get when things seam sorta lost and fuzzy, then Im right now sensless. I cant see colors, or smell them or think of how thy should taste.
I loved this song, I think it was in the sony campain before.
This is the last post...
Of the weak.. je.. the more i want to quit the more i remind myself this is the one way of communication I havent stopped ussing and for such matter, the one way I can still communicate. that sucks.. trust me... i m lonely. Wishes, they say, you are not suppossed to speak them up, so dont read this out loud. I wished once for someone else, for that person to find someone or something that made her happy. I thought it hadnt come true, but then i remembered that whishing can be tricky and if not done with detailed, it can come true in a slightly different way you expected it to. I guess it did come true. I shoul be happy. Im not. Im selfish and wrong (but thats another song) and my eyes hurt for all the crying. this time i did cried, lots. there is something peaceful about it.
once i made another whish, and still, the promise it takes to make it real hasnt happend. i think it will. i hope it does any way. if it doesnt i'll blame myself and my whises and my stupid ways of thinking. i whished we could all stay friends for ever, even knowing forever is a lie. for us to be, if not together, close. if together, to feel next to each other and not alone.
frienships are meant for longer i guess, i hope. sometimes, like now, i feel as if i were drifting away, up. like a red ballon, only no one is there to jump, te take my string...